Saturday, January 28, 2017

I am TIRED! In every sense of the word. I get about 4-5 hours of sleep a day, so not only does that make me tired physically but that eventually leads to mental and emotional exhaustion. At this moment I am angry and resentful, so I probably shouldn't be blogging about it but I just have to be real. I am a stay at home mom (that is a job that I wouldn't trade for any job in the world) which means that 99.999999% of everything falls on my shoulders, or at least that is the way I feel. If my son wakes up in the middle of the night, or at 5 in the morning and decides not to go back to sleep I am ALWAYS the one that has to deal with it and stay awake, no one ever offers, if the circumstances fall to where I am sick and have to beg the other person to help, they act like such a martyr that they have to parent and make so much noise while doing it, I pretty much want to just get up and just fucking do it anyway, at that point I am so angry and hurt that I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. If something doesn't get done that could very easily be taken care of  by either of the adults in this relationship, the blame and disappointment falls on my head. I apparently am responsible for making people responsible, who knew?! I am sure this isn't fair, and if you were to ask the other person their perspective would be very different. I am just tired of being the mean person, the nag, the no fun person. I want to have a break too.....without begging.....and guilt for wanting a break.